Ultrafrood Speaks Out ....

Friday, August 12, 2005

Its been really long since

I last blogged. I dont know why it happened but I have been very busy for a change in recent times. Things have been changing fast...very fast ...almost too fast for my liking. To begin with...I finished my stay at IIT which I used to believe would never end. Secondly, I would finally get a degree or two (matka bhi to hoon) but not without a little drama. Convocation got postponed as it poured like hell in mumbai. And haan my second nephew was born in July, whom for some odd reasons I chose to name as Kevin. Then the biggest change, I joined AP in AP and shifted to hyd. I donno from which end shall I start, there is a lot to tell about how its been here. I would sum it up by saying this. Waking up at 6:30 am, shaving and trevelling for one hour by bus on six days a week is not something I was expecting after how it was last year. So UC how IC.

Coming up next...Kahani Hyd ki...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Irritated Officially

Yes I feel officially irritated this morning. I could have chosen some other word like highly or extremely; but I chose officially as it goes least with the word irritated and hence irritates the reader a bit and make him feel the way I feel right now.

What happened this morning is as follows:

I got up very very early at 6:00. For those who don't know me, I must tell it’s quite early as compared to usual 11:30. Anyways after lying in bed awake for almost 2 hours, I gave up and decided to go to lab where it would be nicer, air around would be colder and the noise level would be down (for the record there are no crows in my lab crying loud or dogs for that matter). But alas sub kuch khalas, I reached CC after walking 15 min in sun, to come to know that air-conditioners in CC are down and the glass box is boiling. After doing my bit to find out reasons for the break down, I decided to come back, in the sun again :((. Not that I have something against sun, but it irritates me when I smell like a pig. Anyway, after reaching my room, I suddenly had a sickening feeling. I had forgotten something. Something really terribly important had percolated out of my head. I had forgotten to go to dept and sign. This means that I will have to walk again in the sun to the dept (which lie on the other end of universe as compared to my room) before noon.

Now you know what makes me feel, what I call Officially Irritated.

Nomenclature(In non-alphabetical order)

CC: Computer Center

Pig: Usual four legged animal that stinks

Dog: Another four legged animal fond of barking at each other for no apparent reasons conceivable by normal human beings

Glass Box: A room with glass in place of walls, usually found in CC

Crows: A black bird usually found screaming if not less, outside my room especially early morning

Dept.: A place full of morons, Chemical Engineering Department

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Nothing To Do!

Its nothing new, but I have officially nothing to do now. Almost finished with my report work and still more than a week left before I go back home. This is boring! I {\em shapat} it is. Sorry, you see, I am still in TeX mode and would remain in that mode for one more week. Anyway, I have been very lazy on my blog writing right from the start. And I have been geting complaints obout it too. I know I need to pull up my socks or atleast one of them! I always had this feeling that I suck at writing. But now since it has been confirmed that it doesn't stink that bad, I thought I will continue. No matter if the matter of blog is extremely trivial as is this one, I will keep pushing it out. This not because I like writing, but because who cares and the blogger help suggest this to be one of the tested ways to increase traffic on your blog. So you see as I see?

Sunday, May 22, 2005


Dont think much into it, its just an easy to comprehend mirror image of the words 'STAR WARS' which, if you missed by any chance, then as a corrective action, you must immediately jump into a drum full of whatever you hate most. Now coming to the actual point, I happen to see the first day last show of Episode III. I loved the movie, but sadly I was furious with the fact that Lucas played evil on us by not making its first three releases (IV, V and VI) as interesting and appealing as the last three (I, II and III). I remember seeing Episode VI sometime back, the characters in it looked shallow. Harrison Ford contrary to his image was nothing but mediocre with his role. I did not appreciate Mark Hamill anyway, he was almost expressionless when you compare him with his would be father Hayden Christensen. I just wish Lucas to remake those episodes (IV, V and VI). Choice of actors would be tricky though!

Monday, May 02, 2005

A Normal Boy Lost A Normal Book !

Yes, a normal boy lost a normal book somewhere in his wing, which by all standards is a very normal event. Chain of events that followed, were unfortunately not so normal for the comfort of our normal guy whose name has not been revieled yet to increase the discomfort of the reader but indeed is of no particular significance anyway. The boy on his part did a blunder by posting his sorrow on wing e-group THE LUCIFERS.

On 4/13/05, kartik raghupati wrote:
Arre doston have lost/some1 borrowed my liby book "Methods for statistical data analysis of multivariate observations" if ne1 has this book pls vapas kar do yaar!!

Although in the begining some people on the group took some very normal stand to the whole situation and suggested the boy not to post such tempting mails on the group but it was already too late. People by now had thought of far more important issues to discuss than solution to the poor chaps problem. The some of mails that followed are stated below for the record and but more so to fill the empty space below:

On 4/14/05, Rahul Tyagi wrote:
Kya baat kar rahe ho!! sandy/mirchi 5th year ke ho gaye!!! :O there is no justice in this world, really....

On 4/14/05, Nikhilesh Ghushe wrote:
Yes there is no justice.... ET talking about justice in THIS WORLD.:D
Irritatingly yours,

By this time the guy was already fed up and decided to write this:

On 4/14/05, Kartik Raghupati wrote:
The last mail was irritating enuff :p didnt have to be repeated!!
Irritatedly urs,

Situation went out of control exactly in the way as other situations go out of control. People from all remote corners of this planet started giving their own set of explanations for the unfortunate event of a normal guy loosing a normal book:

On 04/15/05, Nikhil Jain wrote:
I think the problem is not just that the book is lost. Its more complicated than that. Under normal circumstances a book would realize that it is lost and would try to find a way back home (atleast if its from andromeda it should, I dont know about milkyway). Or if its equipped with a zipomatic electrogamma-emitter it can send out location signals to neighboring planets. So the real problem is that not only has the book forgotten where it should belong, it has also forgotten that it has forgotten to remember this. I think the best way out is to call some magneto-plastic memorybuster company from Vogon and see if they can reframe the books positronic brain using their phasers. You can do a Google Galactic search to find some such companies.

Hope That Helps.

On 04/15/05, Sandeep Gupta wrote:
It was observed long time ago by Veet Voojagig that disappearance of all the ball point pens he has bought over the years can be traced to the existence of a distant planet where all the ball-point pen sneak out to and lead a very happy ball-point pen life. A similar trend is being observed on the planet of earth which quite strangely was destroyed long time ago by Vogons, about the missing liby books by one of the ape descendent, digital watch loving ultrafartist Raghu The Pati. Existence of such planet inhabited by liby books has infact not been completely ruled out yet although several descriptions regarding the slow Brownian motion like motion of liby books have been reported in not so recent editions of Encyclopedia Galactica, its editors have completely denied existence of any such descriptions.

This should certainly not help!

On 04/16/05, Nikhilesh Ghushe wrote:
According to a belief, widely accepted in the ape descendent life forms on a blue green planet located in the planetary system of an utterly insignificant sun on the outer eastern rim of the galaxy, that the Wowbagger syndrome affects the activities of all organism of IITian species in their fifth year of study. They start behaving strangely, that is they start behaving in a manner strangely differnt from the other strange manner in which they more often behave. The above mail from Sandy is an example of the same.

Though this information is of utterly no significance to the ongoing discussion, but has been put here just for the sake of it.


At this point we would like to state that things got so much out of control that DDP guide of the boy under fire had to step in his support and had to post a posting on IITB General praising him for reading such books in first place and then loosing it afterwards. We sincerely hope that reading this article would have wasted your already useless time to the exact amount as would a quick nap would have achieved.

Irritatingly Yours,

For Sadistic Pleasure Inc.
Sandeep Gupta

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Toshted English

Read a very interesting article in BT this morning. Read on:

When was the last time you had a hankering for a nice, piping hot bowl of sweet corn and chikkun soop along with spicy chomin (chow mein) while driving down Marine Drive at night, or felt like grabbing a quick jain peeza or -- better still -- a tosted sendweech while on the move? Be it the peeza, chomin, soop or sendweech, there's a strange fascination for curious -- and spurious -- words. Mumbai's love affair with Bambaiyya continues to evolve.

Ram Naik, a sendweechwalla who operates in a Colaba street corner is unconcerned about the spellings he uses on his menu: "I have been doing this job for 15 years and it's mainly students from the St Anne's and Fort Convent schools who are my most loyal customers. They love the taste of my sandwiches." Clearly, if it sells, correct spellings are only a small consideration.

The mechanics of spelling seem to be evolving. You'd never guess that a shop with the sign tair punchar (as there is one such shop in Lower Parel) is actually a tyre repair shop. When asked about this mangling of the language, the owner of the shop Mahadeo grins and affirms that it wasn't he who wrote the sign. In front of his shop stands a parked truck, with the sign edibal oail (edible oil) painted in mustard yellow across the front. The driver, Charan Singh, said that spellings didn't matter as long as the meaning of the contents was conveyed clearly.

Punchared tairs and edibal oails aside, it's also apparent that street food vendors have taken matters -- as well as the traditional manchurian -- into their own hands. Almost everywhere, the word 'Chinese' has morphed by various degrees of ease into Chinease or Chines. You'll find these words painted in dodgy-looking cantonese style on the front of nearly every red food cart.

Says Rahul D'Costa, a marketing executive: "The other day I was walking down Crawford Market and I came across a stall festooned with the sign 'poplet curry with Rs 5 extra for rice plate'. I was also urged to wash down my meal with a tall, refreshing and in-season glass of mongo jooz (mango juice)."

And while there's a very slim chance these words may find their way into the English dictionary, Mumbai's craving for ubiquitous sendweech shows no signs of abating Horn OK Please?


Golgol @ Kresit Foyer

Jumping the hell out ourselves!

Going back to where they came from!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

My Room Is IN Mess!

Although, my room is more than 50 mts away from THE MESS but my room in fact is in mess. Look at 7-pin cloth hanger. It has GP's Jacket hanging from its second pin from right. Truly speaking, it is not a jacket; it is some sort of device that is usually used to guard against something which goes past your ears making a gushing sound. Not so interestingly, this device should have been with GP almost a year ago. I do not know why there are two buckets in my room when on any normal day I use none. On probing further into the matter, I found out that one of them has old newspaper stuffed into it and there is Ghushe lying on my bed, and is responsible for both buckets being in my room. Interestingly Ghushe himself I must admit is for all practical purposes, mostly useless.

Please note that a wire goes from northeastern corner of my room to centre of the eastern wall of the room casting a shadow, which is perfectly symmetrical and partially encircles a strategically placed cobweb. Although I have never smoked nor did 'Pooja' in my entire span of existence, but there are 13 different brands of matchboxes on my table, which also happens to be supporting a Manicure Set, containing three different kinds of nail-cutters. By matter of pure coincidence, thumb-pins and a notice board have decided not to co-exist in my room and now in my room, only thumb pins lie here and there, mostly here, under my mattress.

Due to loss of my shaving kit in controversially unknown circumstances, a soft leather TT racket cover has successfully replaced it. A perfectly normal lock rests next to it, acts as an agarbatti holder, and is rarely used to lock my room, which unfortunately happens to be the original purpose of its existence. It is now well established among the inmates of my wing that the weighted cumulative randomness index of my room happens to be significantly greater than that for radii of bubbles formed by shaving gel when used with water at 60-degree Celsius.